Healing Complex Trauma: A Gentle Path Back to Yourself - Holistic and Integrative Trauma Therapy in Santa Monica and Venice
Complex developmental trauma—also called relational, attachment, C-PTSD, or chronic trauma—develops from prolonged, repeated experiences of stress or harm.
Unlike single-event trauma, in which a person experiences a single life-threatening event, complex developmental trauma stems from prolonged exposure to environments or situations that undermine a developing sense of self and safety.
The difference between Big T Trama and Complex Trauma
“Big T” trauma refers to single-event experiences that threaten a person’s safety or life, such as accidents, physical or sexual abuse, natural disasters, or assaults. These events are often clearly remembered and linked to a specific moment in time. In contrast, complex trauma arises from repeated or prolonged exposure to relational or environmental stressors, such as emotional neglect, abuse or instability, often occurring during early development. While big T trauma tends to produce intense but more straightforward symptoms like flashbacks or hypervigilance, complex trauma can create deeper patterns of emotional dysregulation, difficulty in relationships, and a fragmented sense of self.
Because complex trauma may have more to do with “what didn’t happen” rather than “what did happen,” many have trouble identifying that they’ve experienced trauma. They often do not understand why they are feeling the way they are feeling, and are confused as to why they are having challenging emotional and relational experiences as adults, because “nothing really bad happened to me when I was a kid.”
What they know is that they are having trouble staying present, connecting with others or regulating their nervous systems. They may feel chronically stuck in fight-or-flight, or find themselves oscillating between hyperarousal (activation, hypervigilance, panic) and hypoarousal (depression, numbing, or freezing). They may experience chronic shame, have difficulty trusting others, or have trouble feeling safe. They often feel emotionally dysregulated. Anxiety, panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, and depression are common.
Childhood Experiences That Shape Complex Trauma
Chronic emotional disconnection. You didn’t feel seen, soothed, or understood by your caregivers.
Ongoing criticism or shaming. You were made to feel “too much” or “not enough” on a regular basis.
Being expected to “grow up fast.” You might’ve had to be emotionally self-sufficient before you were ready.
Inconsistent caregiving. Your sense of safety was shaky—sometimes your needs were met, sometimes they weren’t.
Household chaos. Living with substance use, mental illness, or unpredictable behavior created constant tension.
Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. These more overt forms of harm often overlap with complex trauma.
Witnessing violence or instability. Even if it didn’t happen to you directly, being around it impacted you.
The thread that ties all of these together is a persistent lack of felt safety and attuned connection during key developmental years.
How Complex Trauma Shows Up in Adult Life
Living in constant tension. Your body feels like it’s always bracing. Even in calm moments, there’s a sense that something could go wrong at any time.
Negative self-image, low self-esteem, and feelings of worthlessness. You’re hard on yourself—often without realizing it. That inner voice might be critical, harsh, or constantly questioning your worth. You question your reactions—wondering if you’re “too much” or why you can’t just “move on.”
Constantly scanning for danger. It’s exhausting to move through life on high alert, even in places that should feel safe.
Going numb or shutting down. In stressful moments, it can feel like your body checks out. You freeze, disconnect, or go quiet—not by choice, but because something deeper takes over.
Being pulled into the past. Memories or past experiences replay themselves, uninvited. Even though they’re behind you, it can feel like you’re still living inside them.
Emotional ups and downs feel hard to manage. You might find yourself overwhelmed by anxiety, anger, or sadness—without a clear reason why. Even small triggers can bring on big emotional waves, and calming down isn’t always easy.
Emotional flatness. Sometimes, you feel emotionally distant—like your feelings are behind glass or just out of reach.
It’s like you’re here, but not fully here. You might feel disconnected from your feelings, memories, or even your body. It’s not that you want to check out—it just kind of... happens.
Struggles with trust. Letting people in doesn’t feel safe. You might expect disappointment or hurt, even with those who seem trustworthy.
Unwanted mental loops. Your mind latches onto things and won’t let go—an argument, a mistake, something someone said—and replays it endlessly.
Focus and follow-through feel like a battle. You may notice trouble concentrating, remembering things, or staying organized—even when you’re trying your best.
Relationships can feel confusing or exhausting. You may struggle to feel close to others, or find it difficult to trust, connect, or feel fully safe in relationships—whether with partners, friends, or family.
Your body feels the weight, too. Chronic stress from early trauma can show up physically—maybe in the form of low energy, gut issues, tension, or other persistent health concerns.
How can we address and resolve trauma?
Healing complex trauma often requires a more nuanced, relational, and body-based approach to address the layers of impact on the nervous system and attachment patterns. Because single event trauma and complex trauma can happen when we are quite young and occur before the we have begun to speak, we may not have any explicit memory of what happened. Rather than being stored in our verbal or conscious memory systems, these early traumatic experiences become encoded in the body and the nervous system where they manifest as physiological responses, emotional patterns, and relational difficulties without an attached story or narrative.
Cognitive therapy, which relies on conscious processing and language, may have limited effectiveness in accessing and resolving these early, nonverbal imprints. In contrast, somatic, trauma-oriented modalities engage the nervous system and bodily sensations directly, and have the goal of processing, metabolizing and releasing stored survival responses. Stuck fight, flight, or freeze responses which create chronic hypervigilance, numbness, or emotional overwhelm can be safely discharged, restoring the nervous system’s natural balance. This helps restore the nervous system’s natural rhythm and balance, helping clients reconnect with a sense of safety and inner regulation.
Trauma healing can support you to…
Feel a steady, everyday sense of safety. You can begin to move through the world with more ease—grounded in the knowledge that you’re okay, even when life is uncertain.
Handle stress with greater resilience. You can build inner strength—not to avoid difficulty, but to meet it with clarity and care instead of overwhelm.
Feel embodied and present. You can get out of survival mode and return to the here and now—more connected to yourself, no longer hijacked by the past or spun out by the future.
Trust your own responses and emotions. Instead of second-guessing or judging yourself, you can begin to feel more confident and at home in what you feel.
Experience a fuller emotional range. You can move beyond the extremes of numbness or overwhelm and reconnect with a more natural flow of feeling.
Recognize and shift old patterns. You can begin to understand and unwind the dynamics that keep repeating in your relationships.
Create more inner space. You can feel like you can breathe again.
Feel at home in your body and nervous system. Learn to soothe your own nervous system and feel home inside yourself.
Release the grip of the past. You can stop reliving old wounds and become more present in your daily life.
Healing complex trauma is a journey. It’s not about fixing what's "wrong" with you—it’s about tending to what was missed, misunderstood, or never given space. If parts of you feel stuck, numb, overwhelmed, or like you’re carrying something you can’t quite name — know that you’re not broken. The effects of trauma are real, but so is your capacity to heal. Therapy can be a place to gently unravel what’s been held too tightly for too long—not to fix you, but to help you come home to yourself. You don’t have to go it alone.
About Michele
My approach is relational, trauma informed, somatically oriented, and non-judgmental. I offer an open mind and heart, along with evidence-based tools, to help individuals face the human challenges of grief, depression, anxiety, life transitions, isolation, and complex trauma. I hold a master’s degree in clinical psychology with a specialization in Spiritual and Depth Psychology, and have training in a wide variety of modalities including Somatic Experiencing, Hakomi, Internal Family Systems (IFS), mindfulness, and Ecotherapy. The work I do addresses the whole person, weaves somatic and mindfulness-based approaches, and incorporates creative practices that align with each client’s core values. I work from a trauma informed lens and draw from somatic, humanistic, depth and transpersonal models of psychology. In addition to individual psychotherapy.
I currently have openings for in-person clients in my Venice/Santa Monica office, as well as openings for virtual clients throughout California. I also offer process groups and women’s circles.
